Sadly I have been unable to find the author of the following poem. It has resided in my ‘useful thoughts’ file for a while but a diligent search has failed to turn up who wrote it. I offer it here as reflection for this time of year and to pose the question what is your life too short for?

“Life is too short to wake up with regrets.

So love the people who treat you right.

Love the ones who don’t just because you can.

Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.

If it changes your life, let it.

Kiss slowly. Forgive quickly.

God never said life would be easy.

S/He just promised it would be worth it.

If you know who originally wrote this, please let me know.

If you are a short story writer, then any opportunity to get your work out there is to be welcomed as it is one of the hardest areas in which to get published.

 Short Story Radio was founded in 2006 by Ian Skillicorn as an online showcase for writers and to broadcast quality recordings of short stories to an international audience via the website.  Since its launch Short Story Radio has had close to 200,000 visitors and has showcased the work of best selling novelists and acclaimed television scriptwriters, as well as previously unpublished writers. 

They also have links with many literary organisations and writers, including the New Writing Partnership, and have collaborated with award winning short story writer Sue Moorcroft  to produce a series of short stories specifically for over 20 hospital radio stations around the UK. 

This year they were awarded a grant from the Arts Council to record twenty new short stories for the website and podcast.  Five of these stories are already online, with more becoming available in the coming months. 

To listen to short stories go to www.shortstoryradio.com  and if you are planning on submitting to them, remember that not all short stories work well as spoken pieces.

Poetry can throw us a lifeline and provoke thoughts and feelings that we don’t access every day. Until this week I hadn’t known there was actually an organisation that promotes poetry as a healing force, not until I came across the Poetic Medicine website that is. 

John Fox is a certified poetry therapist, author, and associate professor at the California Institute for Integral Studies and in early 2005, he formed The Institute for Poetic Medicine, a non organization dedicated to healing body, mind and spirit through the creative and therapeutic process of hearing and writing poetry. You will find their site interesting and well worth a visit so pop over to http://www.poeticmedicine.com/ but not before you have read this lovely poem of John Fox’s about the power of deep listening – which is the basis of any good therapy, or indeed any relationship.

Finding What You Didn’t Lose – John Fox

When someone deeply listens to you

it is like holding out a dented cup

you’ve had since childhood

 and watching it fill up with cold, fresh water.

When it balances on top of the brim, you are understood.

When it overflows and touches your skin, you are loved.

When someone deeply listens to you, the room where you stay

starts a new life and the place where you wrote your first poem

begins to glow in your mind’s eye.

It is as if gold has been discovered!

When someone deeply listens to you,

your bare feet are on the earth and

a beloved land that seemed distant is

now at home within you.

I know that title sounds a bit flip, but I mean itin all seriousness as I came across a truly startling statistic this week. According to the World Health Organisation, around 1 million people die of suicide every year, the tenth largest cause of death globally. Awful enough, but what startled me was that more die by suicide than by any other type of violence, including armed conflict.  

Every day on average there are 3,000 people who cannot find a sufficient reason for going on with their lives.  That figure just refers to the ‘successful’ suicides because for every person who dies there are at least 20 or more who make the attempt. 
 

No culture is exempt though it seems that indigenous communities, particularly in developed countries, are disproportionately affected by suicides.   The highest risk group is men over age 85, most frequently widowers, because they often have no social support.  

What makes people take that final step? It is hard to hold on to life when you can see no future, or not one that seems to offer hope and comfort. Our belief in ourselves and our ability to make our future what we want it to be gets impaired.  Low self esteem, poor sense of our value to ourselves and to others all come into play of course but for me it seems the overwhelming thing that strikes me is a lack of belief in the future.

We are living in challenging times, when perhaps you would think the suicide rate would rise but in fact people commit suicide less during major crises like economic meltdown and war.  Why? Is it because the circumstances force an external reason for living that seems to overwhelm our own private concerns?

Certainly one factor that has been shown to increase the numbers is sensational media reports on suicide.  Apparently, there is a tendency for increased suicides within the following weeks by people who identify with the victim who got publicized for the act.
What are they identifying with?  A life that is similar to their own, or seeing a way out that perhaps they had not considered?  I am asking a lot of questions here and of course we all have our own personal answers.

One of the things I learned when I studied with Eric Maisel to be a creativity coach was that life has to have meaning. No dissent there, but what I found harder to reconcile was his view that the meaning in your life is the meaning you give it.  You are the one who takes that decision, not external factors or the views of your friends or family though too often we rely on what others tell us about ourselves rather than taking the more difficult route of looking into the mirror and seeing the person who is really there.  Not the image we present, but the reality at a soul level of what we stand for, what we hope for and what we want to create in our life.  

It’s about asking ourselves the difficult questions:

What do I contribute to my life and to others?

When am I willing to live all of me to the full?

Who am I in the deepest moments of my soul?

It reminds me of that phrase which I believe is from the Gnostic Gospels (and please tell me if you know the exact source) that so resonated with me when first read it that I could only see it through a veil of my own disappointed tears:

“If you bring out that which is in you, that which is in you will save you.

If you do not bring out that which is in you, that which is in you will destroy you.”

I feel that suicide is the ultimate way of deciding not to bring out the glory and talent that lies within all of us. 

What do you think?

 Have you heard of K.I.S.S? It’s much used in business and particularly in training, and it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid. Now I agree with ke K.I.S.S PROCRASTINATION GOODBYE! Have you heard of K.I.S.S? It’s much used in business and particularly in training, and it stands for Keep It Simple Stupid.

Now I agree with keeping it simple in principle – but calling me stupid isn’t going to help tackle procrastination. I prefer a much kinder, and more effective way of thinking of it thmental problems that procrastinators face – that of being overwhelmed – so that is what I use:

Keep

Implementing

Small

Steps

Every part of that is an essential tool to dealing with procrastination. Whatever it is you are procrastinating about, I promise it will be easier to tackle if you just follow those four simple instructions. Whatever the issue, if you can look at it as a series of small, achievable, actions you are on the way to overcoming your procrastination.

Keep is the first part and what does it mean? Well it means keep going, or keep repeating an action. Do something to move your project forward, and keep on doing it. No stopping after just one attempt, by all means rest and recoup if it has proved difficult but the key lies in consistently addressing yourself to the problem.

Implementing is straightforward enough; thinking of how to overcome your procrastination is all very well but it is action that will move you forward. I know how easy it is to get seduced into thinking over your options and debating what you ought to do. That’s great, but you actually have to do it! To quote the immortal Elvis ‘a little less talk and a lot more action’ needs to be your motto.

Small is another key word that will help you be successful in tackling procrastination. Not actions that are so huge you can’t get them done in one session, or are so numerous you get exhausted just thinking about which one to do first.

I will let you into a secret; it doesn’t matter which action you decide to do first, as long as it is small, manageable and you do it. Most procrastinators tend to see the project as a giant mountain they have to move in one go; reality is if you take a shovelful at a time it will get moved. Yes, it takes longer, but not nearly as long as if you never start to move that earth.

Steps are where you catch up with Keep; in other words one step at a time will get you there and you keep on making them! The simplest way to do this is to write a checklist of the actions that need to be done, and put “Write checklist” down as the first item and keep it limited to items you can do on that day. When you have done your list cross that line out because you have done it! You are already on your way and taken action.

Even the longest and most difficult task only consists of a series of smaller tasks, which if you see them as small steps will be are easily achievable. They may be small steps individually, but they are a giant step for a procrastinator!

Self Publishing – Is it For You?

Today there are many options available to writers. The traditional publishers face challenges from self-published books, e-publishing and the web. You need to decide what is best for you, and your work. Once you have written something, you usually want other people to read it, whether that is just friends and family or a wider market. Finding the right place for your work means doing some initial research. These notes apply to all writers, both fiction and non-fiction and if you want to self-publish these are the key questions to ask yourself:

Why do I want to do this?

Is it for the money, to promote my business, to improve my credibility or public profile or to share information?

Do I already have a ready market?

Is there a current mailing list, network established, website sales or a client group or niche market that you have targeted?

How much work am I willing to do?

There is a total input versus cost ratio and the less you want to do, the more it will cost you. Self-publishing involves many different stages and the more you do yourself the more cost-effective it will be.

What form do I want my book to be?

An adobe downloadable file, posted to a website, a printed book that you will distribute and if so how many copies do you want printing? One at a time or do you want to hold stock?

Once you have asked and answered those questions, then it’s time to look at what your options really are, and I will look at those in my next post. l

I was pottering round the kitchen the other day and listening idly to the local radio station when an enthusiastic presenter (aren ‘t they always) introduced a disc with the immortal line ‘This is the music of your life!!’ and yes it felt like it had several exclamation marks behind it. However, Duran Duran has never been the music or even the bum note in my life but it did get me thinking.

I am a fan of Desert island discs because people’s choice of music tells you so much about them, and I am a firm supporter of Noel Coward’s observation: ‘Extraordinary how potent cheap music is.’ I recommend anyone who is writing their life story to hunt out the soundtrack to their life; the music that instantly transports you back to a specific time and place and will bring those memories alive. So while lazing on the beach in this August heatwave, or sheltering from the howling rain and wind if you are north of the Wash, have a ponder on just what is the music of your life, and to help you, here is my ‘top ten’ list.  Actually only the first draft as I could have gone on to 100 and have added an ‘aide memoire’ to each so I know what I wanted to write about it.

Try it yourself and when you have finished it, have a think about whether you could use it to write about a specific emotion or access a long-lost memory :

1. Outside Myself – k d lang for the low days and the knowledge others feel like this too

2. Spring – Vivaldi for the joyful days when the sun shines inside and out

3. Holding out for a hero – Bonnie Tyler for the sheer energy of a raucous voice

4. Agnus dei from Corsica Sacra – Jackie Micaelli for spiritual wonder and a voice as deep as a cavern

5. The Ballad of Lucie Jordan – Marianne faithful to remember Paris in a sportscar in the rain

6. Hey That’s No Way To Say Goodbye - Leonard Cohen for instant return to university and angst-ridden nights

7. The Rose -Bette Midler for hope and the belief in renewal

8. Ocean of Remembrance – Oruc Guvenc for meditation and centredness with a heart pulse beat

9. Heart Like A Wheel – Kate & Anna McGarrigle for pure voices and Celtic heartbreak

10. Cant de la Sibilla – Jordi Savall for a wonderful combination of music and voice that is both earthly and sensual. 

If you want to share your list with me, then please do, it’s a great way to find new and interesting music isn’t it?

I have recently started running a monthly book club in my local library, and it amazes me how diverse are our opinions, and taste in books.  Still it makes for lively meetings, and I intend sharing with them the results of a survey by the makers of Astral, much loved moisturiser since the 1950’s, though it’s link to reading is a bit obscure – though sloshing it on before you start reading would definitely improve your skin!

 They asked 2,000 women in the UK aged 45 to 60 about the books they liked and why.  The good news is that reading is still a popular pastime for most women with the majority reading at least one book a month, one in five glued to at least one book a week and one in 10 reading two books a week. As ever I am a statistical anomaly – and I can only use words like that with you, my dear erudite readers – as I usually read at least 5 books a week and have done since childhood.  Happily I have not run out of wonderful books yet!

 No surprise that romantic fiction was the most popular type of book,  followed by blockbuster crime or mystery novels and general novels trailing behind.  So a romantic crime or mystery novel should double your chances of getting your book accepted by a publisher (see the item on agents below).

Apparently reference books were the least popular, although one in 10 women still rated them as their favourite read. That puzzles me a bit as I find women very interested in non fiction generally, particularly personal development and self help books.

What is clear though is that almost two thirds of the women surveyed said they are keen on the saucy scenes in novels and found the sex scenes in books to be   titillating.   Better make sure then that your romantic crime or mystery novel also has plenty of steamy sex – dig out your old Jilly Cooper books now.  An excellent example of that genre is demonstrated with her usual skill by Nora Roberts, writing under her pen name of J D Robb, for her futuristic crime/romance/very steamy sex novels if you want to see how it is done well. 

Top Ten Books to take on a desert island

The survey also asked which were the books to take to that desert island, or even a boarding house in Clacton, and they are an interesting mix.  If you are looking for something new to read then try some of these:   

1. Bridget Jones
2. Atonement
3. Harry Potter
4. The Time Traveller’s Wife
5. Murder on the Orient Express
6. The Other Boleyn Girl
7. The Life of Pi
8. Birdsong  
9. Notes on a Scandal  
10. Memories of a Geisha

Interestingly, I find I have only read 4 of them, seen films about 4 of them and so have two left to catch up on. What about you?

 July has been a month of astrological upheaval and this week saw the spectacular Total Eclipse of the Sun. The movements of the moon each month, rather than the sun, is something I pay real attention to as it can help direct my energies in a particular direction, and save me from wasting them at the wrong time.

If you are unfamiliar with the moon’s traditional influences, then each New Moon is a new beginning, and fulfilment comes at the Full Moon when things peak in terms of energy. Or for me get too much to deal with and I head under the bed covers until it’s over, and finally the dark of the moon is the time for inner reflection and rest. There is a crescent new moon between the 23rd and 25th of July and this Cancer / Leo Moon cycle brings great new opportunities for realizing hopes and dreams. These days are ideal for all new beginnings as that combination will energize whatever we bring forward.

While you think about that think about a saying attributed to Jesus that was passed to the Eastern world through the Mogul emperor Akbar: “The World is a Bridge.” In Arabic the word “world” represents not the physical, external world, but rather that of appearances and impressions. Neil Douglas Klotz, the author of ‘Desert Wisdom ‘ and who writes on the connection between Eastern and Western spirituality, describes this bridge as meaning that we are meant to fully experience life as an opportunity for growth and learning, but not to hold onto or “bank” on it.

The entire saying is: “The world is bridge, keep walking and walk over it, but don’t build your house on it.”  Where are you building your house these days?

Well, it seems that July has been a month of astrological upheaval and this week saw the spectacular Total Eclipse of the Sun. The movements of the moon each month, rather than the sun, is something I pay real attention to as it can help direct my energies in a particular direction, and save me from wasting them at the wrong time. If you are unfamiliar with the moon’s traditional influences, then each New Moon is a new beginning, and fulfilment comes at the Full Moon when things peak in terms of energy. Or for me get too much to deal with and I head under the bed covers until it’s over, and finally the dark of the moon is the time for inner reflection and rest.

There is a crescent new moon between the 23rd and 25th of July and this Cancer / Leo Moon cycle brings great new opportunities for realizing hopes and dreams. These days are ideal for all new beginnings as that combination will energize whatever we bring forward. While you think about that think about a saying attributed to Jesus that was passed to the Eastern world through the Mogul emperor Akbar: “The World is a Bridge.” In Arabic the word “world” represents not the physical, external world, but rather that of appearances and impressions. Neil Douglas Klotz, the author of ‘Desert Wisdom ‘ and who writes on the connection between Eastern and Western spirituality, describes this bridge as meaning that we are meant to fully experience life as an opportunity for growth and learning, but not to hold onto or “bank” on it.

The entire saying is: “The world is bridge, keep walking and walk over it, but don’t build your house on it.”

In other words, keep moving to keep alive and see the bridge as part of your journey, not the end of it.